Now I know what a friend is and I know what makes a good friend but what I don’t understand is why or rather how come other people don’t know this, why do other people who say they are friends behave in such a way that makes the ones they call friends feel bad or question the friendship. Even me being an aspie I know how to be a good friend, I have always had friends though they are all school mates and some I’ve gotten to know from a group online but I’ve not met those ladies except one, she was/is very nice anyways I grew up with one lady whom we consider best friends. I know from those friendships that you should care about one another, honesty, feel safe, have confidence with one another, trust, love, compassion, listen and be there for each other, to brighten their day and laugh with each other. Shouldn’t lie, bring the other down, be dishonest, fake, care only about yourself and not defend your honor.
I have, well not sure I want to say friend but being me I can’t call her anything else its just not in my nature but for now “friend” will do as supposedly she is a “friend”. I’ve known her for 30 something years and she is loud, obnoxious, deceitful, judgmental, ok so everything very opposite of myself and by now I’m sure you’re wondering why would you want to be friends, well simple I am too friendly, too caring, too thoughtful, too giving and I just am a perfect target for ones to take advantage of though some don’t realize it I’m sure but they do.
Over the years she’s gotten worse with taking advantage of my friendship by pulling me into her strange and “fake” world, not what you think see she is one of those people who starve for attention, always! She’s always making things up to keep me hooked, to keep it always about her. If she calls its never “how are you” or “everything ok on you’re end”, its always “I did this” “I’m getting paid this much” “my kid did this” and I’d say half the time if not all she is lying about things just to have attention, today it was “I broke my arm” how “well its not broke but they said it was some sort of fracture and it happened when I was cleaning the fridge and the door got closed on it”…omg really!!! Always demanding me to do for her when she could do herself. Always trying to “one up me”, money or health she’s always got the best or the worst. Her biggest lie/fake thing is serious because she totally believes what she says and I think she just can’t stop. Once she had told me her older brother had said that he doesn’t like me because he thinks I’m stupid and her mom don’t like me because I don’t work (haven’t since before my boys were born in 2002 and 2004) and because I am different. Why did she feel she had to tell me about that, whether true or not i wouldn’t have told her just to save her feelings. Oh well.
All in all I can’t just drop her or tell her off, I’m not capable of doing so but in my mind. I just take it all in. I’m not afraid to loose her as a “friend” because she’s not been a very good one to me. I just be the best I can be of a friend to everyone.
Best advice I have to others choose your friends wisely. Make sure they listen to you as much as you do them, care for one another, be thoughtful of another, always be honest never lie you’re friends you shouldn’t have to lie, laugh with each other, never make fun or tease the other just because one is different.
This was more of a rant than anything and feels good to tell someone, get it off my chest because it weighs heavy most days and some I just don’t know what to do about this.